Need a reason to keep going
Honestly if only 1 person could tell me what im good for then i'll actually consider staying alive. But for now things aren't looking great to be honest. So firstly im literally a disappointment and i hate my brain so fucking much because i can't even study. I tell myself to sit down and just do it but it won't work. I can't do sports, i suck at them. I'm not talented in anything. My "family" (which doesn't even exist anymore) hates me. My mom doesn't care about my feelings, after 6 months of preparing i told her that i think i might have some kind of disorder and i want to get diagnosed, she told me im totally fine and just making it up as an excuse. I literally hate my life and i have nothing to keep going for. My grades suck and im gonna fail math class which i hate the most since my teacher was verbally and emotionally abusing me for an entire year and no one spoke up or did anything about it. Not even my best friend. That teacher was the reason why i became depressed and eventually self harmed which then got found out and i got sent to the school psychologist. And let me tell you it didn't help. Not even a bit. Im not good for anything and they're trying to convince me. I dont care about anything anymore and they complain on how my mood is so depressing.
I know im not gonna be able to get a good job and my mom probably won't help me out with money. My dad even less likely, he hates me because i suck in school. His wife also hates me and also emotionally abused me, which i couldn't take anymore so i left and never came back to their house. My mom's boyfriend hates me even more, he thinks im just a lazy fuck with no potential whatsoever. So, if after all this you can still tell me that im worth ANYTHING, then go on, i'll listen.
I know im not gonna be able to get a good job and my mom probably won't help me out with money. My dad even less likely, he hates me because i suck in school. His wife also hates me and also emotionally abused me, which i couldn't take anymore so i left and never came back to their house. My mom's boyfriend hates me even more, he thinks im just a lazy fuck with no potential whatsoever. So, if after all this you can still tell me that im worth ANYTHING, then go on, i'll listen.