Im thinking to much and its getting me angry

I wish I could just be a normal person without severe ptsd and psychotic rage issues. You guys don’t know how lucky you are, to just go through a day without having to control yourself constantly. To just have regular thoughts and feelings. God I would kill for that. I constantly have to force myself not to think, to keep myself distracted. But it’s not a battle Im winning. Some day Im sure Ill snap and something bad will happen and Im always worried that will be today or the next. Ive tried all sorts of medications but nothing helps because there’s no treatment for rage in the end. It’s just something I learn to live with and thats always been there.